Arthur Lyffe reports from The Old Bailey - London

In a shocking courtroom scene last night R.G.Bullet broke down and admitted he pocketed clues and other valuable tips from famous authors. Although it was made clear that he didn't actually break into said places such as this and this he freely admits that priceless clues where just lying around waiting to be picked up. When questioned: "Where exactly?" Bullet blurted: "In books!"

When prodded further by leading prosecution attorney, Robbin Bastid, R.G. Bullet said that while writing his Young Adult novel he had actually written over 400,000 wobbly words and scenes before he could boil it down to the mere 75,000 and present it to his editor with any degree of confidence. And that was just the start.  The jury learnt that R.G. Bullet picked up numerous clues over the years that he states were simply left around by authors: PhilipPullman, J.K. Rowling, M.J.Rose, Stephen King, Daniel Handler et al.

What is it he pilfered, exactly?
A number of items were brought in to the courtroom by armed officers and placed on the  table right in front of the jury. A collective gasp could be heard as  Bastid Esq' held up the inestimable items :

1. Write a novella or short story first. Stolen from the house of Stephen King

If you are new to writing a story you'll be surprised at how much there is to learn. Even if you did go to a good school and studied English Lit. Getting your thoughts and imagination captured on paper is a learned skill. Start in with small bites first.

The novella (defined as: 17,000 to 40,000 words)  is a great way to whet your appetite. It needs to contain a captivating plot, a beginning, middle and satisfying end. Think: Shawshank Redemption as a brilliant plot --admittedly King ripped from A. Dumas: The Count of Monte Cristo


2. Know your main character. Bring something - take something. Philip Pullman

What does she wear? What are his favorite TV programs? Who does he play with a school or hang out with at university? How do they interact with others. Are the cool or aloof. Indifferent or passionate? Or a mix of things. Sometimes the most compelling characters are truly messed up inside.

And there are many facets to a character. Although you don't need to bog the reader down with every-single-detail of them do begin hinting at their idiosyncrasies. Try filling out a character profile to help form them first: http://bit.ly/9joeLv

It was clear the R.G.Bullet became confused at this point and does not recollect where exactly he took them from. However, further examination was urged by Judge Idosa to be carried out soon.

3.  Commit to writing: Source - unknown


A 1,000 words per day minimum. That's all I'm asking of you. It's not much once you get into it. Honestly! Practice a little bit of discipline. Before you watch TV, before you go on Facebook or play X-box write, write, write. All else is a distraction. You'll thank me for this...

4. Detachment.


Own your work but don't get too defensive about your words. If you join a critique group and more than three people are saying something's wrong about a certain part of your plot -- thank them and have a closer look. Yes, the writers world is subjective, but once similar comments begin to add up it could be a hint for you to re-examine and re-write.

After you have written your story: lock it away somewhere for a few weeks. Get detached enough from it to re-read it with fresh mind. It helps a lot. If I could program my mind to have amnesia and read my story afresh every time it would be priceless!

5. Study Structure:

The Element's of Style by William Strunk, Jr. Available here: http://bit.ly/bz9MIf
and anything else similar to crush such things as the passive voice. "The ball was kicked by the boy"--errgh! And trust me it's worth it for this advice alone.

6. Read, read, read.


I don't mind if it's on Kindle, Nook Sony or any ebook reader or even that stuff called paper -- read! Success leaves clues. So pick up that best seller  whether it's a Percy Jackson story by Rick Riordan or  book by Franz Kafka  read it -- study it.  Ask, how does the author build suspense, make you laugh, make you turn the page? Why does the story resonate? Why do you want to talk about it to your friends ?

7. Get your hands on:

This book by Stephen King: On Writing (http://amzn.to/jfm9vi)
The first part waffles a bit about his life, and the scariest thing is actually the author picture, but when he eventually puts his advice into gear -- start taking notes.

8. Don't be dull.

Make your work a page-turner. The reader bothered to pick up your book. It's fragile thing--are you going to bore them to death and ruin a chance to have an avid fan?Now, what are you waiting for? Get writing the next New York Times Bestseller!

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R.G.Bullet admitted to these pilferings and was sentenced to write a minimum of 1,000 words a day with no foreseeable signs of parole.

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